A message to all Lebanese fans of Italian soccer

This e-mail was sent to me by a dear friend who remains in Lebanon. It brought a smile to my face.

Keeping the spirit high -

In 1982, Italy won the world cup and Israel
invaded Lebanon

In 2006, Italy won the world cup and Israel
invaded Lebanon

Message to all Lebanese people:

Next time Italy wins the world cup, we all
go immediately down to the shelters!!

Very telling animation

I got an e-mail yesterday night with the following link. Check it out.

And before the launch of this war...

All death seekers, war mongers, self-righteous bigots, bringers of distruction and chaos, LEAVE LEBANON ALONE!

The worst case scenario

Lebanon, the sacrificial lamb. I think that should be our national motto. Anyways, Edward N Luttwak, a senior fellow at the Center for Strategic International Studies, wrote an Op Ed piece for the Wall Street Journal that called for a return of Syria to Lebanon. After articulating what he saw as unfeasible solutions to the crisis in Lebanon, he presented what he perceives as the most feasible way out of this crisis. "Enjoy":

...there is the horrible-to-contemplate but irresistibly seductive diplomatic option: to invite the Syrians to disarm Hezbollah and persuade it to follow the political path. Hezbollah already has two ministers in the Lebanese cabinet and might claim more.

Naturally that would imply the recognition of Syrian suzerainty over Lebanon, and of course the thoroughly unworthy Bashar Assad would have to be treated as a leader of regional importance. Only that could tempt Mr. Assad to abandon his alliance with Iran -- along with the important rewards that would come his way more or less spontaneously. These rewards would include gifts from Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates and Kuwait, all three of which now fear Iran as the most dangerous threat they face; they would also include the approval -- or at least the diminished hostility -- of Syria's Sunni majority, which vehemently dislikes the alliance with Shiite Iran, especially now that the Iranians are supporting Iraq's Shiites in their bloody fight with the Sunnis.

For France, the U.S. and the U.K., it would, of course, be tremendously embarrassing to recognize that they made a gigantic error in expelling Syria without having put anything its place, thus leaving a vacuum of power in Lebanon that Hezbollah has exploited. (A new principle of statecraft thus emerges: It is a mistake to follow the French even when they are right.) But unlike the military option, which is simply impossible, the diplomatic option is merely humiliating. Having massacred their own Islamists very efficiently, the Syrians can do the job again, if sufficiently rewarded.

Ahmedenijad chimes in

Ahmedenijad's most recent statement:

"The storm is approaching the Middle East, and whomever plants the wind sows the storm"

So what is this supposed mean? Is Iran starting to feel the heat? Are we really heading towards a regional conflict?

Iran's two most important strategic allies in the Middle East are Syria and Hizballah. Hizballah is under attack from the Israeli military, and Syria is being coopted by Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Jordan.

As all these developments gradually transpire, Lebanon burns, and Lebanese die. We are the cannon fodder of the big players. We die as they play their chess game.

Invictus-Updated

I got this from a good friend:

Invictus, by William Ernest Henley (1849-1903)

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

Update: To those who claim the current aggression on Lebanon is an Israel-Hezbollah conflict, this may have been true before the first Lebanese civilians of this aggression were killed. The first charred baby was in everyone’s minds long before the first rockets fell inside Israeli territory. I posted this poem in solidarity with the Lebanese people's persistence against the Israeli army's crimes. To use language you understand: Lebanon will prevail.

If anyone can help, please do...

I just got this e-mail. If you know how you may help this person, please do.

I am an American writing from Washington, DC. A friend of my wife's is currently a graduate student at George Washington University. He is Lebanese and his entire family is presently in southern Lebanon. He has not been able to get in contact with them recently and is obviously worried about them, especially as their village was bombed today. Do you have any advice for how he may find out the names of any casualities (either wounded and killed)? Any help you provide would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

David

P.S. Please feel free to forward to anyone who might have some ideas. Thank you.

Rice in Beirut

Condi Rice is in Beirut, and has met with the Lebanese Prime Minister Seniora and is currently meeting with the March 14 leadership (the leadership that pushed for the Cedar Revolution last year).

Her most noted meeting was with the Speaker of Lebanon's Parliament, and head of the Amal Movement, Nabih Berri. Some time over the last week, Berri also declared himself as the intermediary of Hizballah with the International Community. The meeting with Rice lasted for 55 minutes, and according to reports, the two were not able to arrive at an agreement.

• Rice demanded a cease fire, the withdrawal of Hizballah from land South of the Litani, the deployment of the Lebanese Army along with a beefed up UNIFIL contingent in a new Buffer Zone, and the release of the kidnapped Israeli soldiers.
  
  
• Berri's position was a demand for an immediate cease fire and the launch of negotiations for an exchange of prisoners, as a first step to diffusing the conflict. He then said that disarming Hizballah, and deploying the Lebanese Army to the South would constitute a second, strictly Lebanese phase, that would play out in the National Dialogue Round Table.

Both sides of the conflict appear determined to stick to their positions. Neither really cares about the repercussions of the conflict on Lebanon's territories and its civilian population. Meanwhile the Saudis and Egyptians are supposed to be pressuring Syria to break away from the Iran-Syria-Hizballah-Hamas axis. I wonder whether and how they will succeed. What price will Syrian President Assad ask for abandoning the powers that he pretty much owes his life and regime to?

Some analysts and commentators are starting to claim that this conflict will last for months, as opposed to weeks. What makes it more complicated are the military-political dimensions intertwined in this conflict. Hizballah and Israel are trying to score points on the battlefield to increase their leverage on the negotiating table, while Iran seeks to enter the negotiating table as a "peace" broker, trying to claim a slice of the "war/peace" pie in this Arab Israeli conflict.

Moreover, the complication is further augmented by the demands of some powers to get at a "comprehensive" solution to the problem at hand. Does that mean that Lebanon's problem will be lumped with that of Gaza, or the whole Palestinian question? If that's the case, then the war will continue on for light years!

Rice and Berri at least agree that brokering a solution right now is about Lebanon. And that's a starting point. Let's see how things unfold from here.

Back in the States - leaving behind broken lives

I am finally back in the United States. After spending ten days in Syria, helping my family cope with the loss of their lives in Lebanon, I am back to my own life over here.
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Both my brother and sister had to leave loved ones behind, who sought the safety and comfort of their families. My brother is now on his way to London; his long-time girlfriend to Australia. My sister is on her way to Dubai; her long-time boyfriend is staying behind in Lebanon to salvage what remains of his business. Both their sets of friends are dispersing all over the world. The networks of relationships that were such a crucial part of their lives are now broken. They have to start their lives from scratch.
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Despite all this, our family ranks among the lucky few. Yet even the "lucky" among us now have to deal with disrupted lives, in all senses of the phrase: broken relationships; shattered livelihoods; failed investments and much, much more. All we have left is hope: hope that we will be able to rebuild what has been destroyed, and hope that the situation will not deteriorate any further.
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A couple of days before the doors of hell opened in Lebanon, I visited a pub that a high school friend of mine had just launched in the Jemayze neighborhood of Beirut. He had worked an entire year to line up partners, get the permits, renovate the building, and actually build the pub from the ground up. All his work summed up to naught. For even if the war were to come to a close tomorrow, he would not be able to operate because his clientele no longer exists. They boarded those ships, and paid between five hundred to a thousand dollars for rides to Damascus, where they boarded planes and flew to whatever part of the globe they could get to. I wonder how he is doing.
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I want this war to end now. The last thing I want, however, is a return to the status quo ante so that we face another wave of destruction five, ten, or fifteen years down the road. And in all honesty, I simply don’t want to give Israeli generals another reason to flex their destructive muscles at our dire expense.
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Lebanon will never recover from this brutal blow unless Lebanese are assured that such a calamity will not befall them again. The worst outcome - the absolute worst outcome - would be if all this destruction and death comes to naught, and a real political change for the better does not materialize in Lebanon and the region.

Iraqizing Lebanon

As more Lebanese leave the country after the Israeli aggression on Lebanon intensified, we're starting to hear more and more stories from the "inside".

One person who is out of the country now told me that following the shelling that northern Lebanon (mainly Akkar and Tripoli) sustained, groups of religious Sunnis got out their guns from their basements and were getting ready to head south to fight the Israeli Army. The Lebanese Army's Intelligence Force stopped these groups at the last minute.

I did warn in one of my previous posts that "Israel has opened a can of worms (when it bombed the north and killed some 9 soldiers); many parts of Akkar are very conservative Sunni. Why is the IDF messing with a sleeping beast????!!!! Why?"

Moreover, a number of trucks filled with ammunition was sent from Syria by Rafaat Assad's son (President Assad's first cousin) to Jabal Mihsin, a dominantly Alawite area in Tripoli. Again, the Military Intelligence managed to intercept the shipment.

Unfortunately, the Lebanese Army is being targeted by the Israeli Forces, further weakening a Lebanese state institution that is tirelessly trying to put a cap on a boiling pot, which is ready to explode at any minute.

Abu Kais from Beirut to the Beltway wrote that an advisor to the Israeli Defense Minister said that the Sunni Muslim world expects the Israeli Army to fight Shiite fundamentalism and "we are going to deliver." Little does he know that the Israeli offensive on Lebanon might just make of Lebanon another Iraq.

Addendum: Read what Chercheuse D'Or has to say to Israel.

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Latest Strikes on Media and Telecommunications

Why reinvent the wheel when a fellow blogger from Beirut to the Beltway is reporting on the latest events in Lebanon the same way I would. Read about the latest hits the Lebanese media sustained due to Israeli shelling, as well as severe destruction to cell phone masts. My brother-in-law, whose business is in the cell phone industry in Lebanon, has perhaps lost his main source of living...and I can't reach him.

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Searching For Answers

Today as I headed out to work, I picked All Honourable Men, by Michael Johnson from my bookcase to read on the train. Perhaps I was trying to find an answer. Why is Lebanon the way it is....

Something profound caught my attention. In his analysis of the civil war in Lebanon, Johnson wrote that "by the mid 1980s most Lebanese were thoroughly tired of war, and yet a significant minority--10 per cent...--still favoured a total victory for their faction. This economically frustrated, highly militant group has no difficulties in imagining the expulsion of all opponents, and the presence of one or serveral groups with profiles of this nature are a godsend to any political force in or out of the country that has an interest in perpetuating tension."

I believe that in many societies, there is always this 10 per cent lurking somewhere, vying to assume control, betting on the weakness of the other to move ahead.

The 10 per cent is in Lebanon and also in Israel. As rumoured, the Israeli Army is amassing troops on the southern border of Lebanon for an overnight invasion of the South...but also on the other side the 10 per cent is getting ready for confrontation.

The Lebanese people are not defeatist. We're known to survive through invasions and move on with life. We're known to rebuild fast, we're known for loving life and finding ways to enjoy it despite the darkness.

I have nothing political to say; tomorrow morning might just speak for itself. But before I go, read "I Left for a Smile", by a fellow blogger.

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Wearing Black And Longing For Blue

My Mediterranean is wearing black. Mourning the lost summer season, mourning the deaths and destruction, mourning its longing for a happy crowd and a tranquil sky, mourning the reflection of the green mountains of Jabal Loubnan.

Experts say that there might be one or the other reason for this: Either it's because of the increased activity of ships coming on the Lebanese coast as of 7 days, or the fuel that might have leaked out when the Israel warship sank last week.



"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

So Close, Worlds Apart!

Naseer el-As’ad in his Al-Mustaqbal editorial today laid out PM Seniora’s principles towards achieving a sovereign Lebanese state. First, the Lebanese government is the sole upholder of all the sovereign functions of the State and that the government is ready to exercise full sovereignty over the country once the Israeli attacks stop.

Second, PM Seniora is still committed to fulfilling UNSCR 1559, but with Lebanese conditions. The contested territory, the Sheba’a Farms, if delineated as Lebanese territory, the Israeli Army needs to free it. The Lebanese prisoners should be freed. And only then the Lebanese Army would assume its full duties of protecting the southern border (which means that Hizbullah’s military wing would be dismantled.)

El-As’ad of course noted that in order for Seniora to put his principles into action, he needs all the Lebanese, including Hizbullah, to designate the Prime Minister to be the official representative of the Lebanese when negotiating the terms of the ceasefire. Which is true, that is exactly the type of empowerment that the Lebanese government, especially the Prime Minister needs at that critical juncture.

However, today Sayyid Nasrallah, in his interview on Al-Jazeera, almost answered Al-Mustaqbal by already deciding what the role of the Lebanese government should be: namely to receive all the international mediators, to take notes of their ideas and then to relay those ideas to Hizbullah, for Hizbullah to say, "Yes or No!"

I once wrote a post on this blog that said something along the lines of how in such a tiny place like Lebanon, some people can be so close, yet worlds apart!

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Help Needed!

Spread the word:

>>Kaslik: FPM Relief Office (Café Columbia Bldg)
>>
>>Needed:
>>Blood (O- units)
>>Food (Milk, bread)
>>Blankets & Mattresses
>>Diapers

Lebanon Sold Out

Today, as I read the Washington Post, I understood something very clearly: that the U.S. Administration and Congress are just making all the wrong moves in the Middle East.

The same Senators who supported the Syria Accountability Act and pushed for the Syrian military and intelligence withdrawal from Lebanon two years ago, the same Senators who applauded the Cedar Revolution last year, are the same ones who have decided yesterday to give unconditional support to Israel's attacks on Lebanon. I understand, politicians are politicians no matter where they are; they're concerned about being re-elected and about representing their constituencies.

But what about the Administration? This is what President Bush had to say yesterday: "In order to be able to deal with this crisis, the world must deal with Hezbollah, with Syria and to continue to work to isolate Iran." Please tell me if you see the word Lebanon anywhere. It's not about Lebanon; it's about Israel, Hezbollah, Iran and Syria. But guess what country is being destroyed and who is being killed (over 300 dead now) and displaced (over half a million)? Lebanon and the Lebanese people.

I realized then that Lebanon has been sold out!

Just a few months ago, Lebanon was a shining example of how democracy should look like in the Middle East. But now the very shining example that used to be showcased as a U.S. foreign policy success is being killed. The most pro-U.S., pro-West government in the Middle East is being weakened.

Nevertheless, this was way better than reading the following excerpt from Charles Krauthammer's opinion piece in the Post:

Just as in Kuwait in 1991, what must follow the air campaign is a land invasion to clear the ground and expel the occupier. Israel must retake south Lebanon and expel Hezbollah. It would then declare the obvious: that it has no claim to Lebanese territories and is prepared to withdraw and hand south Lebanon over to the Lebanese army...

I mean, is this for real? Does Krauthammer truely think that the Israeli army will "hand" south Lebanon to the Lebanese army as a gift? Since when such scenario took place anywhere, that a state which occupied another country for close to 20 years, will return to invade that once-occupied country to fulfill its mission and then hand this country back its territories? Isn't this scenario so out of this world? And if this is the advice the Administration is listening to, then yes I can say: Lebanon has been sold out!

The Lebanese are reaching a point of despair! All the great powers are watching and giving Israel what it wants, time to decimate Hezbollah, while in reality more Lebanese civilians are being killed and the country's infrastructure has deteriorated considerably in just ONE week, then how about a couple of weeks.

Again and again, Lebanon's fate is to be the house of others' conflicts. My father in despair said over the phone: "I've been living outside my country for 30 years; my fate is to continue living away for the rest of my life!" It is almost like waiting for Godot...and Godot never ever comes. I feel with you, Baba, and I wish I can do something.

Now I would like to end this post with Prime Minister Seniora's Address to the Diplomatic Corps:

I have convened the diplomatic corps in Lebanon today to launch an urgent appeal to the international community for an immediate humanitarian ceasefire and assistance to my war ravaged country. You are all aware that seven continuous days of an escalating Israeli onslaught on Lebanon have resulted in immeasurable loss: the toll in terms of human life has reached tragic proportions: over 1000 injured and 300 killed so far; over half a million people have been displaced; in some areas, the hospitals have been crippled and are unable to cope with the casualties; there are shortages of food and medical supplies; homes, factories and warehouses have been completely destroyed; UN facilities in Maroun El Ras and Naqoura have just been shelled, so have been army barracks and posts of Joint Security Forces; a civil defense unit has been wiped out and foreigners are being evacuated.. As I speak, the trauma, the desperation, the grief and the daily massacres and destruction go on and on. The country has been torn to shreds.

Is the value of human life in Lebanon less than that of the citizens of other countries?

Can the international community stand by while such callous retribution by the State of Israel is inflicted on us?

Will you allow innocent civilians, churches, mosques, orphanages, medical supplies escorted by the Red Cross, people seeking shelter or fleeing their homes and villages to be the casualties of this ugly war?

Is this what the international community calls self defense? Is this the price we pay for aspiring to build our democratic institutions? Is this the message to send to the country of diversity, freedom and tolerance?

Only last year, the Lebanese filled the streets with hope and with red, green and white banners shouting out: Lebanon deserves life!

What kind of life is being offered to us now?

I will tell you what kind: a life of destruction, despair, displacement, dispossession, and death.

What kind of future can stem from the rubble? A future of fear, frustration, financial ruin, and fanaticism.

Let me assure you that we shall spare no avenue to make Israel compensate the Lebanese people for the barbaric destruction it has inflicted and continues to inflict upon us, knowing full well that human life is irreplaceable.

You want to support the government of Lebanon? Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, no government can survive on the ruins of a nation.

On behalf of the people of Lebanon, from Beirut, Baalbeck, and Byblos, to Tyre Sidon and Qana, to each and every one of the 21 villages at the southern border, declared a no-go zone by Israel, to Tripoli and Zahle, I call upon you all to respond immediately without reservation or hesitation to this appeal for an immediate cease-fire and lifting the siege, and provide urgent international humanitarian assistance to our war-stricken country. I would also like to thank the international organizations and the friendly countries that have already extended their valued help and thank as well those who are preparing to do so.

Excellencies
We the Lebanese want life.
We have chosen life.
We refuse to die.
Our choice is clear.
We have survived wars and destruction over the ages.
We shall do so again.
I hope you will not let us down.

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Deja Vu All Over Again

This morning on the East Coast, we're greeted with: Open confrontation between the Israeli Army and Hizbullah on the Lebanese southern borders.

Ashrafieh was hit with 4 bombs destroying two trucks. Apparently trucks now are military targets and need to be avoided at all costs. I wonder now how humanitarian aid will get to the battered southern villages.

For all those from the south, my heart goes with you. The death toll and destruction is greater than anyone can fathom. 23 have died and tens wounded by overnight shelling of ten houses in Srifa. And then Salaa was targeted; a two-storey house collapsed on its occupants killing a family of 10 who were buried under the rubble.

These are only few examples.

And by the way, doesn' t it feel like deja vu to many when you read (or hear) that we're getting "aid" from such and such country? Aid in the form of packages that include food items and blankets, etc.? Yalla, ya Libnan, we have truely went back in time some 20 years...

This is the sad reality. Will Lebanon be able to bounce back from all of this? For the past year, Lebanon got for the first time so much "positive" media coverage during and following the Cedar Revolution. The Israeli State however has chosen to destroy that positive image and replace it with the "given" image that has been carved for decades in so many people's heads--namely the image of destruction, terror, and fear.

To the Lebanese: just tell me how many times we had to explain to foreigners who never visited Lebanon that it's a safe place? Let me guess: hundreds of times!

As foreign nationals evacuate the country, what will be left? Will they return soon? Will those foreigners who were starting to consider Lebanon as a destination to beckon with consider it anymore? I believe it will take years for our country to recover its positive image.

I am reminded of my first post on this blog on February 21, 2005, I wrote the following:

I would like to see in the very near future a document drafted by the Opposition that will answer the many lingering questions: How are we going to resolve the question of the Sheba’a Farms? How will Hizbullah be disarmed and who will do so? What about the Palestinian refugee question?....Big, divisive issues indeed to which we must find honest and real answers. I believe the true challenge is not Syria’s withdrawal, but what will ensue after their withdrawal when we have to all sit together on one table to resolve those major, contentious issues on our own.

We were just starting to answer these questions, when all hell broke loose!

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Protests and Traitors

The human psyche never seizes to amaze me. After 6 days of following every update religiously, somehow all the news of shelling and counter-shelling, of the number of dead and wounded becomes a detail, a painful detail, but a detail. We cope with pain by skipping on the details and creating notions larger than the details which drive us towards achieving our goals.

Today I went to the rally in front of the White House to call for an end to war on Lebanon. However, it did not end to be a rally just for Lebanon; a lot of demonstrators were also calling for end of attacks on Gaza in the Palestinian territories.

Despite that the common denominator between Gaza and Lebanon for now is Israeli attacks, I believe that Lebanon is a different situation. Lumping the Lebanese dilemma right now within an Arabist context is not correct. But whom am I to decide what is correct?

A Lebanese woman was holding a banner that read, "Nasrallah shut up and listen to Seniora!" Many people passing by her gave her weird looks, until one person had the audacity to snatch the banner from her and rip it up! It's saddening, but it did happen.

I chatted with Lebanese friends on the side of the protest. We were talking about how many of those who support the disarmament of Hizbullah have been put in a difficult situation. If Hizbullah is criticized, then automatically it's assumed that you're supportive of Israeli aggression, which is not true. The death toll in 7 days has reached close to 250, most of whom are civilians. Who can excuse such a painful reality?

However, there is this question on our minds, the big elephant in the middle of the room: How were the Lebanese amongst themselves going to disarm Hizbullah. If we bring the subject now, we'll definitely appear as "traitors". Even if we endorse the government's position of calling for a ceasefire and for the reassertion of the state's sovereignty by sending the Army to the southern borders, we'll still be branded as weak.

More than anything, I'm just thinking about the next step. When the gunshots die, will the national dialogue table resume? I mean is there trust anymore amongst the political leaders of the country? What will happen?...It's our own (the Lebanese) question to answer.

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

TODAY: Peaceful Demos Around The World

Peaceful Demonstrations to Stop the Violence TODAY:

Washington, DC - 5-7pm at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW - in front of the White House.

New York (Manhattan) - 4-6pm at UN headquarters First Ave between 42nd St. and 48th St.

University of Berkeley campus - 12 - 2 PM at Sproul plaza

Dearborn, MI - 5:00pm on Warren and Oakman

Toronto, Canada - July 18, 2006 (7:00PM) at Dundas and Yonge (across from Easton Centre)

Montreal, Canada - 5:00PM at PMDORCHESTER SQUARE, 1155 METCALFE

Stuttgart, Germany - 6 PM at Schlossplatz in Stuttgart (downtown)

Doha, Qatar - 8:30 PM at Lebanese School of Doha

Abu Dhabi, UAE - 7:00PM in front of the Lebanese embassy Abu Dhabi

Grenoble, France - 6 PM at Place Félix Poullat, Grenoble

Athens, Greece - 7 PM In front of EVAGILISMOS Hospital

Torino, Italy - 5:30PM at Piazza Castello

London, UK - 9PM - 10.30PM on Parliament Sq. London

Abu Dahbi, UAE - 6 PM in front of the Lebanese embassy in Abu Dhabi

TOMORROW:

Boston, MA - 5 pm at Copley Place, in front of Gibran's sculpture.

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Nothing But Words...

Today was a difficult day. On the metro heading to work this morning, I fought with myself: to read the Washington Post or not to read it. I did and I got even more depressed. There is nothing more disheartening than a picture of destruction or suffering frozen in history...more striking than on TV.

More disheartening was an 80-year old Beiruti saying to the Post that Lebanon is doomed never to be. If these are the words of wisdom, then what do I have left?

What do I have left? I was born during the civil war, never saw all of Lebanon until I was 13, and when I did, I fell in love with it. I understood why my father always brought us back despite the destruction. I fought my parents to do my undergraduate studies at the American University of Beirut when I was 18. I wanted to be there, to create roots, my own roots in that vibrant place. And I did.

As I watched today morning on TV Lebanese Red Cross medics putting injured civilians on stretchers after the Beirut Port was shelled, I thought to myself, "What are you doing here?" I should be there, where I used to serve as a Lebanese Red Cross first-aider. I knew that those medics at the Port were the ones who manned the Spears Headquarters...that's where I used to be a volunteer. And now I'm here, going to work like so many are, on the metro, then the escalators, then up the elevator, then the cubicle...

I'm here, facing a computer, trying to do what needs to be done, but never enough.

Our generation had so much hope for Lebanon. Last year there was so much hope for Lebanon, so much hope. Hope that we can BE. That Lebanon can BE, once and for all. But the prospects are bleak. What next? After the attacks are over, what's going to happen? The divisions are growing deeper and deeper.

Hizbullah's forces might be decimated, but never underestimate the effects of all the violence on the people. All those "mended" psyches from the civil war have been hurt once more and this time trust is gone and perhaps the damage will be difficult to undo.

I have nothing except words. Nothing but words...

Update: A Lebanese Army barracks in Jumhour was shelled. And today evening a whole family died under the rubble, 13, among them 9 children in Aitroun. What's the fault of these children? They were probably scared and hiding.

Addendum: Check out Lebanese fellow blogger's post on the 8-member Lebanese Canadian family killed yesterday by Israeli fire.

Update 2: Jbeil (Byblos) was targeted at dawn. Two trucks were destroyed. No information on number of casualties.

"Nobody knows how many rebellions, besides political rebellions, ferment in the masses of life which people earth."